I’ve accomplished so much since my hypoparathyroidism diagnosis

“He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much.” — Bessie Anderson Stanley

I have lived more than half my life with hypoparathyroidism. My world forever changed after a total thyroidectomy for Graves’ disease in 1998 resulted in my life-changing hypopara diagnosis.

Before I was diagnosed, I made the most of my life. Even though I wasn’t an athlete, I was always doing some sort of activity, and I lived with fearless determination, doing everything I’d always wanted to do without anything stopping me.

I never measured my life by my achievements because, back then, I had no idea whether I was reaching my full potential. I did win some awards, made some excellent friends, traveled, attended a lot of Grateful Dead concerts, and earned my Bachelor of Science degree.

After my diagnosis, I had to re-create myself. I juggled being a full-time mother, patient, volunteer, wife, and friend.

For the first 10 years, I wasn’t really living, just going through the motions. My invisible illness kept me from fully embracing life. But one day I woke up and asked myself, “Where did fun Bari go?”

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I was just getting by until I had the epiphany that I wasn’t going to let hypopara define me. So, I started living life the best way I knew how: by having fun.

I stepped outside my comfort zone and tried new things, like skydiving, mountain climbing, and white-water rafting on Class 5 rapids. I made the most of every day. We are only given one life, so it was now or never. I chose now.

I am capable

Next month will mark the anniversary of not only my hypopara diagnosis, but also the biggest achievement of my life (apart from having my children).

In 2016, my life-altering calcium crash had a deep impact on me and everyone around me. After I recovered, I started a tradition of yearly epic sports adventures with my son, Harrison. He saw how sick I was and was so scared he would lose his mommy. I had to show him I was strong.

Our first trip was to San Francisco to see my favorite football team, the 49ers, play his favorite team, the New England Patriots.

I planned an amazing week and thought the highlight would be the football game; instead, it was renting bicycles and riding across the Golden Gate Bridge, from Fisherman’s Wharf to Sausalito.

I never told myself, “You can’t do it,” because I never considered the possibility that I wouldn’t finish the ride. As I biked up the hills toward the bridge, I took in the beauty of San Francisco Bay. That view made all the difference; I realized the world was larger than my diagnosis.

This was one of the best days of my life and my most significant athletic achievement. I managed to do it only three months after suffering a major calcium crash, which came as a shock to me and to those who didn’t think I could. It also allowed me to form the ultimate bond with Harrison, and we’ve gone on another adventure every year since.

Looking back

Bari Vapnek and her son, Harrison, get ready to bike across the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. (Courtesy of Bari Vapnek)

That experience taught me that I can achieve things despite hypoparathyroidism. I can still live an adventurous life, just as I did as a child. I am thankful to Harrison for giving me the courage to try and succeed.

In the almost 30 years that I’ve lived with hypopara, I have achieved many wonderful things — many of which a young, healthy Bari would see and exclaim, “Wow!”

I always thought hypoparathyroidism was a life sentence, and somewhere along the way, I forgot how to live. My calcium crash shook something inside of me and gave me the drive and motivation to step out and live.

Looking deep into myself, I disregarded all the “I can’ts” and started living. This brave butterfly is thankful for that visit to San Francisco and for Harrison showing me that the world is larger than my diagnosis. Nothing will ever prevent me from living a full, ambitious, and fun life.

Note: Hypoparathyroidism News is a strictly news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hypoparathyroidism News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hypoparathyroidism.