How I’ve grown in the 10 years since my near-death experience
My life-altering calcium crash taught me to turn mishaps into missions
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“When you get into a tight place, and everything goes against you … never give up then, for that’s just the place and time that the tide’ll turn.” — Harriet Beecher Stowe
It’s been 10 years since everything in my life changed.
Many people with hypoparathyroidism say their diagnosis day changed everything. For me, it was another event that impacted me that way. I didn’t truly understand what it meant to live with this condition until 19 years after having surgery for Graves’ disease, and after I had been diagnosed with hypoparathyroidism.
On Aug. 1, 2016, I went out with friends to celebrate the birthday of the late musician Jerry Garcia at a local bar. I didn’t really want to go. I felt off, but people told me I was fine and just being a hypochondriac.
It was a hot summer night. I sat outside, listening to a Grateful Dead tribute band through the open doors. My fingers were numb, so I kept moving them, hoping the feeling would return.
The next day, I went to a funeral with a friend. She could tell something was wrong because I was slurring my words and my hands were still numb. I told her, “I just need some calcium, and I’ll be fine.”
Famous last words
A few hours later, I drove myself to the emergency room, barely able to think straight. Looking back, I’m lucky I didn’t hurt anyone or myself during that 10-minute drive to Boca Raton Regional Hospital. When I got there, the staff told me to wait. I wonder if they thought I was on drugs because of how I was acting.
I begged for calcium and desperately asked for help, but another patient was having a heart attack and had to be treated first. Then everything went black.
I don’t know how much time passed, but I woke up with a doctor holding my hand. Machines surrounded me, and about 10 staff members stood around my bed in the intensive care unit. The doctor’s words still echo in my mind: “I am so sorry.”
The doctor spoke kindly and with genuine care. I don’t remember her name, but I’ll never forget what she said.
There is no cure
Until that day, life had been good. I had just returned from a great summer vacation and felt happy. I had been managing my hypopara for the past year with Natpara (recombinant human parathyroid hormone). Before that, I was on the conventional therapy of calcium supplementation and activated vitamin D, not realizing how much parathyroid hormone could help me.
Natpara enabled me to live the way I wanted. I still can’t believe I managed without it for almost 20 years.
When I started the treatment, I thought it was a cure that would take away my hypoparathyroidism. There were no instructions or warnings. I was simply told, “Take this, and you’ll be fine.” I blame myself for not knowing what could happen if I stopped taking it.
The calcium crash happened because I had missed two days of medication — Aug. 1 and 2 — because of things I couldn’t control. I had no idea what would follow. That’s when I truly realized what living with hypopara meant. I hated every part of it.
After that, my story became about being “four minutes from death.” That’s what my endocrinologist said, based on how low my calcium level was and how much calcium gluconate it took to save me. It also became the title of my first published work.
Turning pain into purpose
Bari Vapnek takes a selfie on her fifth day in the intensive care unit, Aug. 8, 2016. (Photo by Bari Vapnek)
From that moment on, everything changed. I turned what had almost killed me into a guide for living. The pain, suffering, and post-traumatic stress from this event didn’t break me. Instead, they gave me the courage to talk about my illness and look for answers. Writing about it became my best therapy. Most importantly, it helped me realize I’m not the only hypopara patient.
This near-death experience taught me to live while I can. Life is a gift, and I only understood that after coming so close to dying. It drove me to speak up, share my story, and make sure no one else felt alone.
Over the past decade, I have learned to grow from within and turn my mishaps into missions. My life’s purpose came from hitting rock bottom and asking: How can I better help the community so that this doesn’t happen to anyone else? I am stronger, wiser, and more grateful despite the horror of my life-altering calcium crash, like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. I will never take those four minutes for granted.
Note: Hypoparathyroidism News is a strictly news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hypoparathyroidism News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hypoparathyroidism.
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