I feel grateful to be surrounded by love on Thanksgiving

“What if today, we were just grateful for everything?” — Charlie Brown

Life with hypoparathyroidism is a journey marked by uncertainty, where we can swiftly shift from elated to exhausted. Yet I navigate it with unwavering resilience and determination, my constant companions.

It’s hard to make plans, work, and see family and friends because I never know when hypopara symptoms will show up. The feeling that I’m letting people down can be overwhelming. This unpredictability affects not only my social life but also my ability to perform daily tasks.

As Thanksgiving approaches and I prepare to host dinner — which I’ve done for the past 25 years — I pray that I’ll feel OK. The only things that have changed are some of the people at my table and tweaks to my turkey recipe. I often speak about evolving personally, but my turkey has evolved, too. Each year it gets even more delicious.

Recommended Reading

August 20, 2025 by Bari Vapnek

Even during a difficult month, I choose to be grateful

Despite the uncertainty of my hypopara, continuing family traditions is important to me. Growing up, Thanksgiving was a cherished holiday, a time when everyone was home and we gathered to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I’ve joyfully passed this tradition down to my children. I’ll admit I still shed a tear when Santa makes his appearance at the end of the parade.

Seeing Santa reminds me of my dad and how special our time together was. His empty seat at my table hurts. I can still picture him standing beside me, knife angled just right as he carved the turkey, calling me his “favorite chef.”

Hosting Thanksgiving has been a joyous tradition since my kids were babies. It’s not just about the food, but the warmth and love that fill my home. I do it all despite hypopara because it’s a tradition I cherish.

No one should be alone on this day of gratitude, so I always save a seat for someone in need. The sense of togetherness is what makes the holiday so special. We have a tradition of sharing what we’re thankful for, and it’s heartwarming to see how that, too, has evolved over the years. The conversations at the Thanksgiving table are always so meaningful, filled with love, hope, and understanding.

Persevering through a health scare

One Thanksgiving I will never forget was in 2016. The day before, I was meticulously setting the table with my china, sterling silver, and Baccarat crystal. The kitchen buzzed with warmth as I cut the vegetables, brined the turkey, and baked cornbread. I was all prepared for a stress-free Thanksgiving Day.

Then my endocrinologist called. As I listened, I glanced at the turkey, perfectly seasoned. But my heart started racing when my doctor delivered the directive, “Go straight to the ER. Your corrected calcium is 5.2.” While I insisted I felt fine, the urgency in the doctor’s voice was apparent — the situation was serious. For context, a normal calcium level is typically between 8.5 and 10.2 mg/dL, meaning mine was dangerously low. I tidied up and drove to the emergency room, where I was admitted for hypocalcemia.

Bari Vapnek’s daughter, Drew, shares a photo of the front door of her home after paramedics broke it down. (Screenshot by Bari Vapnek)

Little did I know, however, that my doctor had sent an ambulance to my house. The paramedics broke down my front door and searched my empty home. My daughter arrived home shortly after, unaware of what had caused the chaos.

Thankfully, I was released from the hospital on Thanksgiving Day around noon and pulled off an incredible dinner for 12 people. My kids saw me persevere and make it happen, despite my health scare.

Still, I struggle every day with how my condition affects my family. The emotional strain my loved ones experience is profound, serving as a constant reminder of the challenges I face.

I hate that my daughter had to witness the aftermath of paramedics being summoned to my home. I try to make that memory disappear by teaching her my holiday secrets. She has mastered my cornbread, and this year, she will learn how to make the turkey. She hopes to host Thanksgiving at her home in Atlanta next year, and I’m eager to sit at her table for the first time and see what she learned from me.

This brave butterfly is grateful to host Thanksgiving and be surrounded by so much love. I will never take for granted the blessings that have come my way, even while navigating life with hypopara. I cherish the warmth and love that fill my home this time of year and hold them in my heart.

Note: Hypoparathyroidism News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hypoparathyroidism News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hypoparathyroidism.