Even during a difficult month, I choose to be grateful

“You can’t lose something you never had.” — Andie Anderson (Kate Hudson), from the 2003 movie “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”

I write about several topics in this “Brave Butterfly” column: my hatred of hypoparathyroidism; my kids and family; sports (49ers season is approaching!); and pop culture. I’m well-versed in these subjects, so the ideas come easily. But because of my illness, my writing has sometimes been long-winded and unfocused.

As I write this, I’m recovering from a calcium crisis. My brain is foggy, I am ketotic, and I’m sleeping just three hours a night, as my body won’t relax. In last week’s column — written while I was still hospitalized! — David DeWitt, one of my editors, transformed, chronicled, and made it exactly what I intended while keeping my voice intact. He and my other editors, Dave Boddiger and Paige Wyant, have been invaluable resources on my journalism journey, helping me improve weekly with priceless advice and guidance.

August has been a difficult month for me since my calcium crash on Aug. 2, 2016, when I was four minutes from death. Usually, I spend this month reflecting on that life-altering experience, but this year, I spent the anniversary hospitalized for a similar crisis. It’d be easy to focus on the challenges August has brought. However, in honor of David, who’s retiring next month, I want to focus instead on the positives of my journey. His advice and support inspire me to find optimism and gratitude, even on dark days.

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Although some Augusts have been quite crappy, the month has also been a time to celebrate two miracles of life: my children, Drew and Harrison, who are my most cherished treasures. No matter how bad things may seem, life without my bright, healthy, and beautiful children would be far worse. They bring out the best in me.

Last week, my daughter, Drew, turned 26. I was diagnosed with hypoparathyroidism at the same age, just nine months before she was born. I hope to be in Atlanta by the time this column publishes, celebrating her birthday and helping her move into a new apartment. Her boyfriend, Jason, will move in with her this fall!

I know we’ll enjoy our sleepovers, girl time, shopping, eating, and decorating. Most importantly, we’ll adorn her guest room with a cloud sleeper sofa I purchased for my visits. Guess what, sweetie? Mommy is coming!

And on the day this column publishes, Aug. 20, my son, Harrison, turns 24. To celebrate, we’ll travel in October for an epic sports adventure. We booked a luxury hotel and will eat well, bond, shop, maybe gamble a little, talk life, and see his favorite football team, the New England Patriots. Regarding that, I always quote the movie “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” when Andie tells Benjamin Barry (Matthew McConaughey), “Front-row seats, right in the action. I mean, you can smell sweat.” I like to see the action up close. Harrison and I will be sitting behind the Patriots’ bench — the best seats for the one who completed my life in 2001.

For now, I’m resting and consulting multiple doctors so that I can enjoy these special moments with my children. The memories we make will last a lifetime. Drew and Harrison make life with hypopara worth living.

The quote that opens this column resonates with me because my kids never knew me before hypopara, so they can’t “lose” pre-diagnosis me. Still, they’ve witnessed some scary days and several versions of their mom. For instance, they noticed that I was more present and focused after starting Natpara (parathyroid hormone). Harrison and I even biked across the Golden Gate Bridge!

But they also noticed the consequences when I stopped Natpara, and the changes in my behavior when I later started on Yorvipath (palopegteriparatide). Regrettably, I’ll never get those years of instability back, but I can keep pushing forward and giving my all.

My editors have helped me realize that, in challenging times, a clear head and focus will keep me on track. David noticed my writing was off last week during my calcium crisis, but with his help and support, I was able to get back on course. I’m indebted to all of my editors for opening my eyes to a future where I continue writing about life with hypopara.

This brave butterfly will spread her wings of hope for Drew, Harrison, and all those burdened with a rare disease. I’m forever grateful to them, my editors, and all of my Bionews family.

Note: Hypoparathyroidism News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hypoparathyroidism News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hypoparathyroidism.