A Mother’s Day visit to my daughter ended up a health boost

“You’re never too old to need your mom.” — Drew Vapnek

Life with hypoparathyroidism, more simply nicknamed hypopara, is so unpredictable. I never know if I’ll have a good or bad day.

The past few months have been a roller coaster as I wean down from my 60 mcg dose of Yorvipath (palopegteriparatide), which I’m taking as part of a Phase 2 clinical trial, to 30 mcg, a dose approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. Since then, I’ve experienced both hyper- and hypocalcemia, where the level of calcium in my blood is either too low or too high.

Neither is fun.

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In response, my daughter, Drew, suggested I visit her in Atlanta for Mother’s Day weekend. She’d noticed how sick I’d been when she was home for Passover. I couldn’t spend time with her then, which upset both of us. Drew knows her presence always uplifts my spirits, so she thought spending Mother’s Day in Atlanta would be healing for me. I booked the trip from my home in West Palm Beach, Florida, and prayed my calcium levels would remain stable.

I’ve been visiting the laboratory generally two to three times a week during this medication transition, and my calcium was relatively low two days before my flight. The anxiety of traveling and not having a specialist in Atlanta was overwhelming, but for my child, I had to be OK. I didn’t want to disappoint her.

My kind of family medicine

From the moment we hugged upon my arrival, I felt terrific. My daughter radiates positive energy and enhances everything around her. Most important, she reminded me why I fight this rare disease: so we can cherish these special moments, which are few and far between.

Drew Vapnek, a doctor of chiropractic, poses for a photo at her office, Lake Pointe Wellness Center, in Kennesaw, Georgia. (Photo by Bari Vapnek)

In Atlanta I felt a sense of normalcy I hadn’t experienced in a long time. It’s as if she’s the magical elixir that improves my life. Mother’s Day isn’t about me; it’s about the one who made me a mother, and that’s what I celebrated this weekend.

I got to spoil her. We went shopping and enjoyed laughing, singing, buying new clothes and accessories, cooking, and eating together. This experience provided a dopamine boost and made us genuinely happy.

On Saturday, I went to work with her. I could never bring her to work with me because my diagnosis prevented me from working. I watched her in action, treating patients and managing the chiropractic practice while maintaining her composure. I was in awe of my child and her work ethic.

Then, for the first time, I was adjusted by my fabulous Dr. Drew. Watching your child excel in their job and life is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Not once did I think about hypopara. I couldn’t have been prouder of this extraordinary woman standing before me, the woman who made me a mother 26 years ago.

Before this trip, I’d been sick every year we’d celebrated Mother’s Day, so I’d never truly appreciated the holiday’s significance. But she made me feel alive this year. I may have given birth to her, but she gave me the gift of life and laughter. She gave me the will to persevere and turn obstacles into opportunities, transforming me from a caterpillar to the brave butterfly I am today, allowing me to face a reality I can handle.

For once, I was proud to do what most mothers do their entire lives: clean, cook, shop, and be a happy and relaxed mom who’s not weighed down by adversity. This Mother’s Day was the first during which I wasn’t burdened by hypopara and anxiety. I felt “normal.”

We spent five days together, which led to the hardest goodbye I’ve ever experienced. My baby girl’s presence made me feel human, an extraordinary sensation I haven’t felt since my diagnosis. She provided me with an unbelievable source of healing during my time in Atlanta.

When I returned home, I immediately went to the lab. My calcium was low, but not dangerously low. I texted my doctor, “Calcium adjusted, I think 8.3 [I typically aim for 8.6 to 9.9 mg/dL], but I spent the past five days in Atlanta visiting my daughter for Mother’s Day and felt great. Let’s keep it as is and recheck in a few days. I’m not sure if it was endorphins from my daughter, a change of scenery, or the correct dose, finally. What do you think and recommend?”

A few days after that, unfortunately, everything fell apart. I considered that maybe this brave butterfly needs to move to Atlanta to be close to the one who sparks joy, health, and laughter in my world. Until then, I’ll continue spreading my wings of hope, not for myself but for my children.

Note: Hypoparathyroidism News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hypoparathyroidism News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hypoparathyroidism.