Going from patient to caregiver is helping me accept my own needs

“Independence is happiness.” — Susan B. Anthony

I have learned that if I want something done correctly, I should do it myself. I am independent. I’ve been this way my whole life, and it has helped me manage my hypoparathyroidism.

Hypopara casts a shadow over my life, dictating the foods I consume and the activities I take part in. Yet, it’s a badge of honor and a testament to my fortitude that I have been able to navigate so many hurdles on my own.

Being independent is a source of strength, but it can also be a burden to me because I am reluctant to burden others. It can strain relationships, as I often refuse help even when it’s needed. When I’m sick, I tend to withdraw, believing no one will understand. It’s easier to hide than ask for help.

Despite being on an FDA-approved treatment, plus conventional therapy (calcium and calcitriol), I am quite unstable. These treatments are the standard for managing the symptoms of hypoparathyroidism, but they are not always effective for everyone.

Still, during bouts of illness, there is a part of me that craves acknowledgment. I long for validation that I’ve triumphed over another episode, and I share my experiences because I seek recognition to boost my self-esteem. A simple “I understand what you’re going through” can make a world of difference to me.

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It’s OK to ask for help

Recently, my mom became ill, and I had to stop being a patient and become a version of myself I didn’t know — a caregiver.  I had to put my pride and my hypoparathyroidism aside and put her first. My mother needed me.

These have been the best few weeks, despite both of us being unwell. We shared meals, laughs, nightly episodes of “Jeopardy,” and the opportunity to talk candidly. Life is short, and I am so happy to have had this time to bond with her. Even more, I am delighted to be a source of strength to her, as she’s the only person who has heard my heartbeat from the inside.

This experience has taught me the value of empathy, but also that it’s OK to ask for help. Sometimes, miracles happen when you least expect them, and even the most unexpected situations can lead to profound growth.

I hope my mom remembers these last few weeks as our best time together. This brave butterfly will continue to spread her wings of hope despite the obstacles that stand in the way.

Note: Hypoparathyroidism News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hypoparathyroidism News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hypoparathyroidism.